5: Awe-Inspiring Ancient v. Modern Mayhem

The day of ‘the trip’ finally arrived - we were downstairs, waiting at our pick up point at 3am in the morning ready to head to Cairo. Unfortunately, our driver was waiting in a different place for us so it was 3.45am (and 2 further very expensive phone calls!) before we located him and got going. He seemed quite annoyed to be late - so he drove almost as fast as the speed of light in an attempt to make up time. He then drove roughly as fast on the way back too; I am genuinely surprised we survived the 11 hours of driving (5+ hours each way to Cairo and back) that we shared with him. Fortunately, the rules of the road in Egypt meant he was able to employ his kamikaze driving skills alongside the rest of Egypt’s drivers! (See below for more on the driving rules!)

But first to the last remaining ancient wonder of the world - the Great Pyramid of Giza. As we drove through Cairo, I was totally amazing to spot the pyramids on the horizon and just part of the city’s backdrop - I don’t know what else I expected as they are massive but it was quite a contrast. As the city has sprawled, the pyramids are no longer in the desert as such. We first visited the base of the great pyramid and marvelled at the incredible size both of each stone and the structure itself. It’s immense and perfectly constructed in a feat of engineering achieved 4500 years ago. It was the tallest (147m) man made structure on earth for thousands of years. And what makes it all the more astonishing are some of the discoveries linking to its dimensions and positions; the 3 main pyramids in Giza line up to a 0.1 degree accuracy with true north, the great pyramid’s corners point exactly to sunrise and set at the summer and winter solstice. And for the maths and science nerds among us, the 4 edges of the base of the pyramid are identical in length to within a cm, the perimeter of the base when divided by twice its heights gives the answer 3.14, or pi as we know it. The golden ratio is also linked within its dimensions somewhere (but forgotten that bit from the tour as I was already puzzling over the previous mathematical fact bomb) and the coordinates for the positioning of the centre of the pyramids match exactly to the digits in the speed of light …. All magical mysticism, absolute coincidence, manipulated maths or ancient genius? There is a large group of ‘experts?’ who strongly assert that the pyramids were in fact made by aliens…. Seems perfectly reasonable. One of the artefacts we saw later in the museum was a square based pyramid carved to be used as a pyramid topper, which has been categorically proved through extensive testing, to have been carved from a huge meteorite( … or piece of space rock…which might have been brought specially to earth for its intended purpose!).

Once we’d spent some time exploring around the pyramids (and maybe buying one of two excellent souvenirs from the reputable vendors casing the place), we went up to a plateau that overlooks the 3 pyramids of Giza. The great pyramid was build as Pharoah Khufu’s burial tomb, the other two then for the next two ruling pharaohs - his son and grandson. There are some much smaller, far more insignificant pyramids build nearby too for the wives! From there, we went to see the Sphinx - built originally as a decoration to make use of left over rock from the construction. It is 20m tall and 70m long and is carved from one larger piece of rock. It is the original sphinx although it started a trend and many more were built at other sites around Egypt.

After the pyramids, we stopped for traditional Egyptian lunch, which was a vast amount of little bowls and plates containing a number of dishes (vegetable stew, rice, stuffed cabbage, falafel, baba ganoush, tahini, flat breads, aubergine and then a coal burner which had chicken and koftas on top sizzling away!). It thoroughly enabled my eating preferences of everything separate and in order of tastiness!

The final stop was The Egyptian Museum in Cairo - a vast building holding over 120,000 ancient Egyptian artefacts including Tutunkahmun’s tomb and treasures, the contents of other tombs that have been discovered, mummified people and animals, other coffins, sarcophagus and burial artefacts and huge amounts of jewellery, treasures, pottery and offerings added to tombs and temples by the ancient Egyptian. There were a number of occasions when we looked at things or asked about artefacts only to be told that the British have that one. There is a copy of the Rosetta Stone in the museum because the British have the original, a missing mummy (the most recently found) which the British took away with them then lost in a ship wreck and many other artefacts that the British have kept. According to the Egyptian’s, that have asked for it all back on a number of occasions but have yet to have anything returned! It was all found and unearthed and revealed within Egypt …. But the British have it now from when they ruled. After each ‘Oh, the British have that one….’ answer, I found myself responding with a ‘Oh gosh. I‘m so sorry. I apologise on behalf of my nation….’!!

A couple of surprising things about the museum, aside from the space rock and actual mummified people on display:

1. So much of the contents and incredible ancient artefacts are on display and can be touched and explored and seen up close. I ran my hands over hieroglyphics carved into a sarcophagus over 4000 years ago (and I was allowed to and positively encouraged to).

2. there are a huge amount of artefacts, including over a hundred ornate and beautiful coffins (accidentally) discovered in a cemetery in Luxor. They are all on display but in poorly lit rooms, in dirty and dusty cases, piled three high on shelves. So much of the museum is poorly lit with grotty cases and shelving. The ‘important stuff’ is out in well lit, clean display cases - or out in the open - but the less significant stuff seems to just be bunged in anywhere and almost in storage corridors and dark cupboards (we were in parts of the museum that we allowed to be - we hadn’t accidentally stumbled into the actual storage basement!). I asked if there was a reason for the poor lighting as some kind of protection or controlled environment but our guide looked a bit surprised and said there wasn’t low lighting and it was all on display and easily seen. I think I inadvertently offended him a little. He probably thinks I’m suggesting giving more to the British as we can defos pop it in some nicer cases and flood it with light in our fancy museums!

After a couple of hours with our guide in the museum, we headed back to the car and commenced the mega drive back - again taking our lives into our hands with the driver with the death wish but I’m thrilled to say we made it back unharmed, got a takeaway pizza, had a delicious cup of tea and went to our beds!

As discussed above, the driving rules in Egypt are a little different to those in the UK but for anyone ever needing to use the roads here, the guidance is as follows:

• The roads tend to either be single carriage way roads around town or giant, wide motorways connecting cities. Whichever road you find yourself on, you can always pop out in to the middle lane or even into the oncoming traffic if you need to get by.

• The are speed bumps which necessitate a slow to 10ish mph to get over without spinal injury. However, they are placed quite randomly, sometimes in the middle of a motorway. It’s best to slow right down to go over them, ensure the front wheel is safely over the bump before rapidly accelerating away so any backseat passengers are subjected to a jarring motion as they’re vaulted out of their seats when the back wheel clears the bump.

• Dual carriageways and motorways are often made with a gap of 10 to 30m between the two directions of traffic acting as a central reservation. If you realise you’ve gone the wrong way or need to take a junction off the road going in the opposite direction,  just drive directly across the central reservation and turn around. There aren’t really roundabouts or junctions on the motorways but there are signs saying you can U-turn as needed.

• The huge, wide motorways are largely unmarked in terms of lanes but you can expect to fit up to 7 or 8 cars abreast. There is no discernible fast / slow lane so pick any lane you want, drive at any speed you want and weave in and out as needed. It’s best to weave to overtake by driving up to the car you intend to overtake so there are just a couple of inches between your front and their back bumper then jerk the steering wheel left or right to  swing out and get by. You can mutter under your breath, gesticulate or honk your horn to express your annoyance at their slower driving if you so chose.

• Speaking of horn use, you can use your horn for a number of different reasons: to show over taking, to alert others to one’s presence when cutting up or intending to fit through a gap smaller than your car, to show impatience when stuck in stationary traffic or just to indicate the sheer joy you are experiencing while driving

• If you don’t drive, buses are an option. The buses are white minivan affairs - anyone can flag any bus down - do so by stepping into the road, ideally in front of at least one lane of fast moving traffic and waving the bus down. Buses can pull over if they choose or can just stop where they are, even if that’s in the 3rd of 7 lanes on a motorway. (If this leads to any kind of slowing of the rest of the traffic or god forbid, an actual traffic jam or hold up, expect an absolute chorus of car horns). Passengers wishing to get on the bus are then free to walk over to it - again either from the side of the road the bus is on or from the opposite side of the road with 10 lanes of traffic and central reservation to cross. As a passenger, it’s fine to just walk out and across the road regardless of any on coming traffic; cars will be forced to swerve round you.

• Dogs seem to use the roads fairly commonly too. They are the most well behaved and respectful of road users, sticking to their lane and generally only crossing when there is time and space.

And so to the final day of another holiday! We have a washing machine in this apartment so I’m popping a load on and bringing all my cloths back washed and clean and dried (within minutes) in the Egyptian sunshine and hair dryer type wind. We shall laze in the glorious air conditioning, eat out for brunch and dinner (never more than £5 for a whole meal and drinks each), indulge in some time at the beach and in the sea (never out of my depth or anywhere near the big drop off off the reef just off the shore - there are monsters down thee just waiting for eat me!) and generally relax before returning home tomorrow!