7. If it’s green or iced, it’s not tea! Aside from that, top marks for this stop!

Another proper review time ... sort of ....

Accommodation: Evolution beach and dive resort

Location: Malapascua Island, Philippines

Getting there: a bit of a ball ache, which involved a long drive, boat ride & balancing more that might be advisable on a little scooter but otherwise fine!

Arrival: delivered to the door by the scooter driver - excellent service for the £1.50 it cost me

Comfort: the bed here is much softer that the previous one - but two separate singles and I always feel like there’s a constant potential that I might be having lovely sleeps, forget I’m not in my own bed, roll over and fall out. So far I have avoided this eventuality though. The pillows are ok - one is almost just the right balance of soft but filled as of the 5 nights here, I only woke up with a cricked neck once!

Bathroom: also one at this place. The sink is outside the main bathroom in a little alcove in the room, which I quite like as it’s has a sideboard all round it so lots of rooms for my stuff to spread out onto!

Location: on the actual beach - Bounty Beach to be precise. The type of beach with white sand and palm tree paradise. My little room is in the block behind the main dive place and is so quiet all night. It’s an absolute joy. Once I’d found my way and only got a tiny bit lost once (wondering island trails but not fully convinced I was going in the right direction so doubling back on myself and retracing my footsteps to the beach I knew), I’ve found it’s also close walking distance ‘out the back’ to the west beach with restaurants on, the ‘you wanna a massage ma’am?’ ladies and excellent souvenir vendors.

Sleep: aside from the ‘could fall out of this bed at any moment’ hazard, sleep was uninterrupted and blissfully. The ceiling fan keeps you cool and the bugs and creepy crawlies stay outside (except for one little gecko who loves inside but I quite like him).

Security: door, lock, proper windows … all the mod cons you could ask for. Apparently there are security guards at night but I’ve never seen them - they’re either taking the usual Filipinos approach to work by staring at their phones or having a little nap or I’m never out late up enough or up early enough to see the resort ‘closed’ for the night! (The bar closes around 11pm and the first dive meet is 4.45am). There are the ubiquitous dogs about - one who always sits and watches over my block of rooms. I’ve also got a guard cat that seems to live on my balcony and who I like to call David Bowie.

Facilities: this is the only downside really … no kettle in the room. Boiling water is available at the bar for free (just next to the reception and exactly 53 steps from my room) so it’s possible but less convenient. Every morning and then at various times during the day, I’ll be found tripping along from my room to the bar with my empty cup with tea bag in then shuffling back to my room with my cup full of tea ready for milk to be added and delicious tea consumed!

The restaurant : somewhat amusingly, they call it an Irish bar. Aside from its name (The Craic House) and a few Irish flags hanging up, I have no idea what makes it Irish. They have various Guinness signage about - but don’t actually serve Guinness (I don’t think it would keep well in its kegs and lines in the heat here). They do have an Irish whiskey included in the many other spirits and cocktails available though. The food is all really good (also not Irish) and the waitress ladies are nice. When I approach, they greet me ‘Hello Peeepa’ - or ma’am depending on if it’s one I know - ‘you want your hot water or you want eat?’. Either way, they always oblige! When you order breakfast, you get free tea or coffer included. When I say tea, the follow up questions are ‘green or black?’ and ‘hot or iced?’. Honestly, what is this world coming to when those are the questions? If it’s green or iced, it’s not tea. Get it right people! And they never offer milk as an option - I have to request it.

Risks?:haven’t really encountered any (aside from the aforementioned tiny bed). The beach, although beautiful is really sandy. That sand gets everywhere & despite its light colouring, gets really hot in the sun so you have to do that ridiculous tip toe little leaps walk to get from shade to sea without burning your feet!

The diving: excellent fun. My final day’s diving was another day trip to a little island (called Kalanggaman). Sea was really calm - which is good as it took about an hour and a half to get there. There were three groups on board, my English family friends, Yoshi and Toshi then a group of Chinese tourists. They weren’t quite sure what to do with me or who to put me with so in the end, I got given my own 1:1 dive guide! We jumped as soon as the boat slowed near to the mooring each time, went off on a personally guided dive to see all the cool stuff and have time for photos then returned the boat still last after the other groups had dived and returned already. I really did not expect of request that level of service but I thoroughly appreciated it and had a great time! Not huge amounts of ‘big stuff’ to see but pretty nudis and shrimps and nice reef. We also went over to the ‘drop off’ (where the shallow reef up to the island ends and the sea floor falls away). We swam along to the drop off and a little down onto the wall  - pretty corals and deep blue falling to a couple of hundred metres below!

We also had an hour or so on the little island to walk about. Apparently it’s a ‘bird hub’. I did not hear or see one bird - but the views and island were very pretty nonetheless and a series of locals travel there each day to sell your snacks and souvenirs!

My final full day on Malapascua has been one for drying out gear, waking at leisure, drinking tea, having breakfast - with more tea, reading under the palm trees and some shell collecting, then a walk along the beach and through island paths, cafe stop, massage then back to the (not even remotely) Irish bar for dinner. On the shells front, there are lots of 'cat's eye shells here, which I like but have been a bit puzzled by - they appear as rounded stones on one side and are flat with a spiral pattern on the other. I have discovered that they are actually the 'doors' to a certain type of spiral shells. The creatures who live in the shells make the 'doors' so they can flap open apwhen the creature emerges to move about but if it's feels threatened or needs to, it can retreat into its shell and close the door to keep it all tucked up safe inside! I’m all packed up and ready to leave in the morning - got a 7am boat back to Cebu then a drive to the airport and flight to Palawan to look forward to tomorrow!