2. The different types of people you find on a dive boat..

There isn’t really all that much to tell about this week. Every day follows the same routine:

6.00: wake up & first breakfast

6.30: dive brief, gear up & dive 1

8.00: second breakfast

10.00: dive brief, gear up & dive 2

12.15: lunch

2.00: dive brief, gear up & dive 3

4:00: ‘snack’ (really more of a second lunch - it’s usually pizza, a range of meat and bread or one day, burgers and chips!)

5.30: night dive brief, gear up & dive 4

7.15: dinner

…. Most of us in bed asleep by 9/10pm ish!

And repeat ….

We’ve done a combination of ship wrecks and reef diving. There is always a briefing prior to the dive - usually with a map but occasionally furniture snd cushions are arranged into a 3D model and were talked round that as we’re shown the route to take. We always have the option of going with one of the guides or ‘unguided’ in our own pairs and groups. Our itinerary included the Thistlegorm wreck, a British cargo steamship carrying supplies during the Second World War, from the UK (round the cape of Africa and up the Suez Canal to avoid the Axis forces in the Mediterranean) to the British forces in the north of Africa. It was bombed by a German bomber and sunk in the entry of the gulf of suez in 1941 with its full load of ammunition, motorbikes, trucks and supplies. Most of them can still be seen today when you swim through the cargo holds, albeit covered in marine life and coral. Some of the ammo is still in its boxes, complete with visible dates from when it was made on show! We did a number of other smaller wrecks which generally sunk some time between the turn of the 20th century and as late as the 1980s, with a recorded incident of ‘hit reef while travelling at full speed’. The captains were all males. The ships are more broken up and being taken back by the ocean so provide a rich ecosystem for all the fishes who now call them home!

We’ve dived some beautiful reef dives too, visited pinnacles (little under water hills of rock and coral), swam along sloping coral gardens and some wall reefs, which drop off below you into the deep. Those of us certified for the depth also did a dive down into a canyon trench to a coral archway that bridges the canyon at 40m. We returned to ‘Dolphin House’ and played again with the best of dive companions. Each time they’d pass by, you wait for around 10 minutes or so before they return. The wait times tended to result in all sorts of games and photo opps with divers!

Above sea, our group has been brilliant, with all the classic liveaboard dive stereotypes. There’s the white British middle aged bloke who’s dived the Red Sea hundreds of times, knows all the wrecks and sites and every fact or statistic and crap joke about them all. He will talk endlessly about it all, corrects the dives briefs when they miss stuff out but is really kind and well meaning at heart. There’s another white British middle aged guy with a fair amount of experience in the Red Sea and around. He’s half interested and kind and listens and half can’t help himself but advise, lecture, tell endless tails about how he’s a cave diver and pushed depth limits and loves wrecks and getting into slightly reckless situations in tiny holes. He gives unsolicited advice, claims not to be a misogynist but won’t allow women to think or act for themselves because he assumes he knows better and can ‘help’ by doing it for them. He makes it his mission to ‘tease’ or poke fun if everyone in a way that suggests he’s better than then but thinks it ok to say what he does. Constantly. Because it’s ’just a joke’.

There is also an exceptional diver who used to be a commercial diver and is now an instructor alongside his other job of being a specialist firemen and search and rescue diver. He is excellent, calm, has supreme control of his buoyancy and every movement, keeps an eye on everyone, will help anyone who asks but never offers advice unless it’s requested. He is by far the best diver and person to learn from - and modest and secure enough that he doesn’t need to share his opinion or make a big fuss! He is the type of diver everyone should aspire to be.

There is an American, who comes from the most liberal state and is not a fan of Trump but is a huge fan of America. He’s genuinely fascinated and a little shocked that we don’t all know every place, company or system that the Americans have and assumes we all live to emulate him and his American dream. He genuinely enquired if we had Amazon in all of Europe and accepted it quite without question when we said that no, alas, we’re not yet so civilised but we can get small deliveries sent out by carrier pigeon if we have the exact change to exchange for it. He visits London a lot for work and imagines that all the other Brits on the boat will visit the capital most weeks and know each and every one of his favourite bars and restaurants he’s visited and enjoyed there. He loves and is wholeheartedly proud of American but can also tease himself and realises we all think his thoroughbred American-ness is hilarious!

I dread to think what category I’d fit into or where in all tbe stereotypes my fellow boat mates would put me! The rest of the crew are the ‘younger’ few in their 20s and those of use in our 30s/40s who all just rub along and enjoy ourselves and fit into the eclectic mix of travellers this week. I tend to do all the dives with the exception of nightdives - they are not for me. Aside from the fact it’s when the sea monsters come out, obviously, they’re also just really dark so it’s the same as there is in the day time except you can’t see as well and it’s a bit boring! There is always promise of all the night creatures that come out at night … but we so rarely see them. I treated everyone to my company for one night dive on a ship wreck (the Giannis D, a Greek cargo ship that sunk, carrying a load of timber, in 1981 … when it hit the reef, travelling at full speed!). I saw a couple of sleeping puffer fish and not much else! I could have read a chapter of my book in that time!

Our final night was spent parked back in the port of the main marina as more supplies were bought on board, some of the crew left for their one night off a week and while all our gear was washed and hung out to dry as we all packed. The sea in the port was much calmer so the boat rocked less but the civilisation and all busy-ness and people we were forced to return to were ever so noisy after nights of bear silence at sea! We went out along the marina after dinner on the boat and I had a couple of delicious mojito cocktails so that helped get me to sleep!

Final day now having transferred back from the boat to a fancy hotel. I was here by 11am this morning and will leave tomorrow at 3pm for the airport. While I was checking in and enquiring about a late checkout, I politely informed thats not available tomorrow. Meanwhile, the man next to me being served by another Egyptian man was being told he could keep his room until 3pm. The man serving me decided he was far too important to continue his task and passed my check in to a lowly female member of staff. I smiled at her and we shared the universlly understood female to femal eye roll and I commented on how there was such a vast difference between the way men and women are treated in Egypt, she smiled again and I’m ediately ungraded me to a suite! I’ve got a sofa, arm chair, table and 4 chairs and my massive bed has its own adjoining room.Terribly exciting although also totally unnecessary! Time to chill out in the sun, rest, relax and make sure everything is fully dry before returning home in time for everyone to spoil me for Christmas!